World Stunned To Hear Of Prince Andrew’s Sudden Death Scheduled For Next Week

LONDON — Global leaders expressed shock Thursday morning after multiple social media users announced that Prince Andrew is expected to die in a sudden and highly unfortunate accident sometime next week.

The news, which has not been confirmed by any official source, began trending after thousands of users posted variations of “RIP in advance” and “Can’t believe this tragic car crash that hasn’t happened yet.”

Palace officials stated they were “confused but monitoring the situation,” adding that the Prince is currently alive, breathing, and “actively avoiding steep hills and suspicious brake fluid.”

“It’s very unsettling,” one royal aide said. “We’ve had condolences delivered, flowers sent, and three documentaries greenlit — and nothing has technically occurred.”

Analysts Call It “Pre-Mourning”

Cultural experts are calling the phenomenon “pre-mourning,” a growing trend in which the internet collectively predicts a powerful figure’s demise based purely on vibes, document releases, and historical pattern recognition.

“We used to wait for events to happen,” said one media professor. “Now we just fast-forward to the part where the statement says, ‘He had been struggling privately.’”

Automotive Industry Responds

Out of an abundance of caution, several UK mechanics reported a surge in demand for brake inspections, steering checks, and “anything that might look bad in hindsight.”

One garage owner stated, “Look, I don’t know what’s going on. I just know I’ve never had this many customers asking whether their car could look suspicious.”

Palace Reassures Public

In a brief statement, Buckingham Palace confirmed:

“His Royal Highness has no scheduled deaths at this time.”

They added that any rumors of fatal accidents, mysterious illnesses, or sudden despair are “purely hypothetical and not currently on the royal calendar.”

The Royals are expected to be carrying on life and duties, per usual. Satanic worship, included.